


The Structural Integrity of Cardboard Dinosaurs

by thewaywardqueen



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Retail, F/F, Shop Assistant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 12:17:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5004526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewaywardqueen/pseuds/thewaywardqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arryn works as a shop assistant. Barbara is an unusually helpful customer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Structural Integrity of Cardboard Dinosaurs

**Author's Note:**

> Vaguely built around something that happened to me. Sadly, my dashing blonde wasn't Barb and didn't come back to the shop.

Build your own cardboard dinosaur. What a load of crap. Honestly, it was the worst thing that was sold at 'Elbere & Schnee: Gifts & Homeware', where she worked. It was the yummy mummy shop of downtown Austin catering to mostly women over 20 and for the last 2 months, little kids. For the first week or so she actually kind of enjoyed the children's section, it helped her forget the job was mostly just to pay the rent and as a favour to her friend/boss. She played with little kids inside the forts made of paper that they could doodle on, got to take expensive chocolate home, and she had a very basic job of keeping up with stock take and re-stacking fallen items- occasionally asked to check the empty stock room for a product they hadn't supplied for months where she could play Candy Crush on her phone and re-emerge after an appropriate amount of time.

But then came the stock of 'Build-A-T-Rex' made from a very strong but thin cardboard with 50 numbered pieces to slot, well shove, together. Usually Arryn wouldn't care that it was a useless product, it wasn't her shop after all. But this was different because from day one Kara had wanted it to be on display which meant Arryn had to build it and rebuild it anytime a kid knocked it down- which was pretty much everyday.

On this particular day she had reassembled it next to the kids books and set the body down getting ready to attach the arms and spikes when a young boy carrying three books snatched it from the desk and tucked the creature under his arm. His frazzled mother came following behind, impatiently asking him to put what was left of the crumbling dinosaur back on the table.

"I am Sherleek Holmes! I need my Watsin!"

"We'll find another Watson later." She dragged the boy in front of her and took each of the items and dumped them on the table. "I'm sorry about the mess." Arryn smiled at the dithering woman cringing inwardly that she'd have to start from scratch. They left pretty quick after that, leaving her to sit in defeat glaring at the pile of green cardboard.

"Watson you're a real pain in the ass."

XxxxxxX

Aaryn was full of pride as she climbed onto a chair holding a fully built Watson. She delicately placed the structure on top of the off-white shelves, carefully insuring nothing fell as she put it down. She let herself admire it for a moment, almost peaceful it could now be out of harm's way.

"Excuse me?"

She turned back for a moment to look at the customer. Arryn barely caught sight of the blonde before she started feeling herself teetering on the chair for a moment and then completely losing her balance. Her arm shot out for the support of the shelf only to grab Watson instead and pulling him down with her. She fell back harshly slamming into the customer attempting to catch her, who under the weight fell back too. Both winded, they dissolved into shocked giggles.

"I am so sorry! I shouldn't have distracted you like that."

"No, honestly that was my fault. I shouldn't have used the chair. Sorry for using you as a landing."

"No need to apologise- that was the most amount of action I've had in months."

Then she spotted the mess on the floor that used to be the dinosaur.  The sigh she let out was almost unhuman and she panickly looked up to the other woman.

"Sorry, it's just this happens a lot."

"The broken toy part? Or the falling part?"

"The toy part. It just takes a while to put together." She said and resignedly began picking up the pieces. To her surprise the blonde moved next to her and began piling up the pieces.

"So do you work here full-time?"

"Uh, yeah. Hopefully one day I won't be but for now this is what I do."

"Musician?"

"Actress, but I suppose I sing too."

"Well I'll have to see you perform sometime." Arryn let out a self deprecating chuckle.

"Good luck with that. What about you?" Arryn asked innocently. The blondes face scrunched up a little and went pink.

"Uh, a community manager? It's kind of a vague title."

"It doesn't sound real." She merely laughed.

"Well I don't know if anyone else actually has the title." Arryn nodded despite her confusion.

Slowly they made a heap of the green cardboard. Arryn then remembered that she should be helping the customer not the other way around. “So is there anything I can help you with?”

“Yeah, I’m looking for a present for my boss's kid actually.”

“Well you came to the right place!” She grinned with all the false enthusiasm she could but it did make the blonde chuckle. “What do I need to know about them?”

“He's six tomorrow and from what I'm hearing from my co-workers he's about to have as many nerf guns and toy cars as Austin sells."

"Ah. Well we have a range of items for his age range, mostly make-your-own-kits."

"This dinosaur seems pretty awesome."

"Only if you want to annoy your boss. I mean it's a fantastic product, it just takes patience."

"Even better." Arryn must have looked confused because the blonde just laughed. "We're not exactly a normal company."

"Well, let's get you one of these then."

XxxxxXxx

"So you let the only girl you've been interested in for months go without at least giving your number?"

"I was working."

Miles Luna had been Arryn's best friend for years. He was her go to whenever she was crushing on someone.

"Well you can't go calling me about how pretty she was or how green her eyes were."

"Well they were blue."

He sighed at that.

"You're useless."

"Look if i see her on the street or something i'll get her number."

"Sure."

"Miles, I don't even know her name."

"Eurgh kill me now."

"And she was so pretty- like model pretty. And she was so flirty- why didn't I flirt back?"

"Because you, my friend, are a nerd."

"So are you."

"Yes, but I embrace it. Now what pizza do you want?"

XxxxxxX

This time it was a young girl. The girl was trying to get to a 'decorate your own fairy wings' kit when she brought Watson down. Or rather slapped him down. Almost every single piece was flung around the room turning what should have been a simple re-stacking job into a treasure hunt.

44 of 50 pieces sat in her lap before she gave up on dignity and bent down to forage behind the shelves to see if it had fallen. She hated doing it because her body got squished in the shelf to get to the other side and her ass was up in the air- generally not the look customers are expecting.

“We have to stop meeting like this, people’ll talk.”

Arryn flushed pink getting up turning around to face Barbara.

"You do pick your moments." Arryn laughed nervously straightening her skirt.

"I get called to beautiful views." She suddenly looked down at the crumpled mass of green limbs. “Is that the same display?”

"Yeah, my boss still refuses to let me glue Watson together. Something about falsely promoting the integrity of a product."

"...Watson?"

"The dinosaur."

"You're weird. I like it."

"So, did you only come here to help me fix the display?"

"Oh right! I totally spaced. So my boss Burnie, hates the dinosaur like you said. And he wants to bring it up in a uh podcast."

"A podcast?"

"It's like a video of us talking about-"

"No, I mean I know what it is but i'm just surprised, and a little bit confused. I mean of course you can talk about it on a video it wouldn't be an issue."

"I really don't know how to say this without seeming like an asshole but our podcast is a pretty big deal. So you might get rushed by fans who want to buy it for themselves."

"Okay.  Can I know who I'm being accidentally sponsored by?"

Barbara then went a strange kind of colour. "Uh sure. Roosterteeth productions."

XxxxxxX

Barbara wasn't lying about the fans. They practically filled the shop the next day. Within the week Watson was the only one of the product left. And that was only because Kara refused to sell it due to damage.

The fans were mostly men who were about to hit 30, some men and women in their early 20's, and a teenager or two. They all acted rather strangely around her- it felt quite judging. It was making Arryn keep wanting to check the mirror for a penius drawn on her forhead or something that would warrant the way they looked at her.

"Did this girl tell the internet that there was 100 dollars hidden in one of these boxes or something?"

"I have no idea but i'm just glad to be rid of these things." She grinned at Kara who was suddenly looking very guilty.

"Kara. Please tell me you did not buy in more of them."

"Sorry! It's a business. I can't just not buy in a popular product because you have a personal vendetta against them."

"Look any time you want to volunteer to assemble the display you can do it and then talk about how they're not easy to have a vendetta against."

"Sorry, Arryn I'm the boss I don't have to do that stuff anymore. But you have wrapping paper to tie up."

"Oh joy."

"You know what is weird."

"What?"

"Someone asked me while you had the day off if- and i quote- 'a beautiful raven haired shopping assistant’ works here."

"I really need to watch this podcast."

 

 


End file.
